Week Six: The Character of Love (Chapter 5)

By: Jackie Billings

West Campus PM Session Leader

A Definition of Love

When my husband and I were dating, he didn’t tell me he loved me for quite a long time.  Finally, after a seeming eternity that was actually no more than a few months, he declared his love for me.  He prefaced it by telling me, he wanted to be sure he understood what love is so that when he said it, he could mean it.  So what does “love” actually mean?

In the last chapters, we have learned that love is supreme and eternal (1 Cor 13:13), comes from God (1 John 4:19), fulfills all the commandments (John 13:34), and is the ultimate “fruit” of abiding with Jesus.  (1 John 4:16 & John 13:35)  

Now, we really reach the heart of the matter, and learn a practical definition of love: 1 Cor. 13:4-8

Paul, the lawyer, gives an appropriate "lawyerly" definition of Love, sandwiched in between two discussions of spiritual gifts.  The Corinthian church was so focused on the spiritual gift concepts with their minds in the clouds, Paul’s practical definition must have brought the listeners back to Earth!  The passage is filled not with feelings, but with actions.

Loving like Jesus

Just as God demonstrated his love to us by dying for us (Rom. 5:8), we will be able to demonstrate love through our actions. Keep in mind, true Agape love is only able to be lived out through the Holy Spirit working in us, and unlike the other forms of love (stergae, phileo, and eros) cannot be achieved by the non-believer, because it comes from Jesus.  It’s not about “working really hard” to be loving.  Let’s look at each characteristic of love, remembering that Jesus is our example of how to live Love.

 Love suffers long

Some translations read, “Love is patient” but that doesn’t really encompass what is being said.  Love suffers!  Love waits!  Love is not impatient.  Jesus is described as “longsuffering” toward us in that he waits to bring his perfect judgment on Earth until all have had an opportunity to repent and turn to him.  (2 Peter 3:9)  He waits because of his love.  He forgives and forgives and forgives.  Likewise, Jesus instructed us that we shouldn’t just forgive others one time or seven times, but seventy times seven times.  (Matt. 18:22)  Will this make me a doormat?  Maybe… let’s keep reading.

Love is kind

This is the only place in the New Testament this Greek word for “kindness” is used! Strongs defines it as “to show oneself mild.”  Mild certainly describes Jesus.  He was so kind that he invited little children to flock to him.  Am I mild? Jesus tells us to humble ourselves as little children in order to enter the kingdom of heaven.  (Matt 18)

 Love does not envy

To envy is to “burn with zeal” or have “earnest desire.”  Clarke describes it as “not being willing for others to be preferred before you.”  The Bible says that envy caused the religious leaders to hand Jesus over to be crucified, because they didn’t appreciate the crowds following Him (and not them). (Matthew 27).  Envy caused Joseph to be enslaved and Abel to be murdered.  This is a hard one for me, and seems to masquerade as “holy concern.”  For instance, when someone is chosen for a leadership position, I might find myself saying, “Is she up for that?  That doesn’t really seem to be her gifting.”  Wow! My real motivation is not the well-being of my friend or her ministry, but under it all lurks the root of bitter jealousy. This root destroys otherwise healthy friendships, and turns me into a hypocrite—congratulating my friend to her face and bitter in my heart.   Jesus tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15)  That’s real love.

 Love does not boast

This is also translated, “love does not parade itself.” The definition of boasting? “Pride looking for glory.”  Although Jesus deserved all glory, He set aside his own glory to humble Himself and come to earth as a man.  (Phil 2:8)  Although He deserved a parade, he cloaked himself in humanity.  Likewise, Jesus tells us not to look for accolades from other people, but instead look to please God for eternal rewards. "But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matt 6:3)  Let your love be anonymous.

 Love is not puffed up

Love is not arrogant and self-focused.  We can fall into this trap with spiritual pride.  I.E. “look how spiritual I am!”  Jesus is quite the opposite.  He says, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matt 11:29)  Jesus’ humility allows him to offer us rest for our souls.  We will be able to share that rest with others when we focus on serving others instead of ourselves: “[Let] nothing [be done] through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (Phil 2:3).

Love does not behave rudely

Rudely might better be defined as “unbecomingly.” The word is used one other time in 1 Cor. 7:36 in reference to sexually immoral behavior.  The idea is that love does not mistreat or use others.  In contrast to “using” people for His purposes, Jesus poured out his life for us. (Tit 3:4-6) We are called to pour out for others, with our time, resources, and selves.  (For I am already being poured out as a drink offering. 2 Tim 4:6)  Instead of sacrificing others for our own interest, we sacrifice ourselves for the needs of others.

Love does not seek its own

Love does not look out for its own self-interest. Jesus did not die for us to fulfill His own needs, but to fulfill our desperate need.  (Phil 4:19)  In the same way, we should give preference to one another (Rom 12:10) and look out for the interests of others. (Phil 2:4)

Love is not easily provoked

The Greek here does not contain the word “easily,” so really it should read: Love is not provoked.  Not provoked at all!  Love does not react when others behave wrongly.  On the cross, Jesus was beaten and oppressed, but he did not even open His mouth! (Isaiah 53:7) Unlike Moses, who was kept out of the promised land because he was provoked by the people, we are instructed to “turn the other cheek” when we are harmed by others.  (Luke 6:29)

Love thinks no evil

We certainly have a habit of assuming others have bad motives, and have a tendency to keep track when others do wrong to us.  Jesus has removed our sins as far as the East is from the West, (Ps 103:12) and He doesn’t even remember them. (Isaiah 43:25) How can we assume the best about others and forget the wrongs they have done? By remembering that God sees all things and will judge with perfect judgment.  (Heb 4:13)

 Love does not rejoice in iniquity

The proper response to sin was demonstrated by Jesus.  He had sincere sorrow when the effects of sin (death) overcame his friend Lazarus.  Paul points out that godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation.  (2 Cor 7:10) May we sorrow over sin and encourage others to repent, and not rejoice at the sins of others, or compare our sin with others to make ourselves feel better. 

 Love rejoices in the truth

Jesus is truth! The truth sets us free.  (John 8:32) Being a truth rejoicer means that we celebrate when others are set free from the bondage of sin, and are filled with joy to meditate on and share the news of Jesus.  When sin is exposed, we do not gloat or condemn, but share the truth of salvation and forgiveness!

 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things

Spurgeon calls these four qualities, “patience, faith, hope, and perseverance,” love’s four soldiers.  We are able to be patient, faithful, hopeful, and persevere because we are able to see the cross as more prominent than sin.   Spurgeon encouraged that "We rest in expectation that gentleness will win, and that long-suffering will wear out malice, for we look for the ultimate victory of everything that is true and gracious."  This ultimate victory allows us to respond to others with an eternal perspective.

We can have patience and “bear all things” because "love will cover a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8).  We can believe all things because we are confident that God will continue the good work of sanctification in each one of us until he returns (Phl 1:6).  We can hope all things about others because our hope is Jesus himself (1 Tim 1:1)—our hope is not that others will do or be what we expect.  And we persevere because we know a crown of life awaits us at the end of any suffering.  (James 1:12)

May God fill us with his other-centered love and pour it out on others as we continue to become women who love!